kick against the pricks

My God is a God of second chances, and third and fourth and fifth ones.When I am caught in the current fruitlessly kicking against the forces of fast water, He tells me to release. The Bible says, “The Lord shall fight for you”, but it seems counterintuitive unless my intuition is tied into His. Let each worn white knuckle cling no more. One at a time I peel my fingers back until I can no longer hold on and must be sucked into the water, tossed back to land, and admit that I am not in control, He is. God, let me try again. My “I’m sorry”s and “I promise”s have been multiplied too many times, like an exponential trajectory of sin. But please erase it, and let me start at 0,0 once again.