kick against the pricks

My God is a God of second chances, and third and fourth and fifth ones.When I am caught in the current fruitlessly kicking against the forces of fast water, He tells me to release. The Bible says, “The Lord shall fight for you”, but it seems counterintuitive unless my intuition is tied into His. Let each worn white knuckle cling no more. One at a time I peel my fingers back until I can no longer hold on and must be sucked into the water, tossed back to land, and admit that I am not in control, He is. God, let me try again. My “I’m sorry”s and “I promise”s have been multiplied too many times, like an exponential trajectory of sin. But please erase it, and let me start at 0,0 once again.

In the Interim

Voids of uncertainty, or maybe just a hole
Between the impressions and what I know
If I were better at logic, this might make sense
If X then Y
Which is to say, “X will guarantee Y.”
But if not?
God’s intricacies lie in constellations too blurry to make out
If I can own the principles and perhaps some wax and string
But even without, I can feel future scenes: mother, father, child in the back seat

Riddled basins of attraction make it impossible to predict
The path of physical particles
Wait. Just wait.
Caught up and dangling over the sea of confusion, held only by the force of fields.